An interesting post on marriage and fidelity

File:Anillos.jpgAn article of interest I found today…not strictly related to NFP concerns, but to marriage and what CCL has sometimes referred to as “marital disillusionment.” I thought this was a very interesting, and disturbing post.  I would love to hear other thoughts on it:

However wonderful our marriages are, however wonderful our husbands, when children are waking us up, repeatedly, at 5am, when every night is spent figuring out what to make for dinner, when mornings are spent shoveling laundry into the dryer and remembering the days when you actually had time to iron, it’s very difficult to remember the passion and lust that brought you and your husband together.

When your weekends are not spent holding hands over a candlelit dinner, but instead ferrying four children around from basketball game to basketball game, to playdate, to ice skating, to birthday party, it’s very difficult to remember the importance of appreciating your spouse, or indeed to find the time to remember to be kind, to pay attention to each other, to make each other feel loved.

Read the whole article here.

 

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3 thoughts on “An interesting post on marriage and fidelity

  1. Mike & Jami Hentges

    I agree with your reaction, Kate…interesting, disturbing…and also sad and thought provoking. Every marriage is unique, emotions go deep, and there’s a big part of couples’ marriages that are private (we have no idea of knowing the complete reason for a couples break up). It bothers me a little that they’re blaming these affairs on a women’s boredom. Not to say that this isn’t part of the problem, but I believe in each case that the problems likely run deeper.

    Given this “common” occurrence as of late, women leaving good men out of boredom, it all the more drives home that as married couples we need to keep the lines of communication open, we need to continue to learn about our spouses, we can’t get stuck in the daily grind, neglecting our spouses and our marriages. We all know marriage takes work. I think NFP is part of that work. I also feel that NFP is part of the help in keeping marriages strong…meaning the abstinence that comes along with it…so long as spouses take the opportunity to show love in other ways. I feel it’s so important to take alone time together (away from the children perhaps)…whether it’s date night or a true conversation over a cup of tea after all the kids are in bed. And, most importantly, keep Christ in our marriages…He is our Foundation to build strong, healthy, exciting marriages!

    I pray for these women who feel bored and their husbands, too. Like it said in the article/blog…this “season” in the marriage will pass…things can be good again.

    Just a few of my thoughts, Jami

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  2. Kathleen

    I was talking to Christian about this post the other night. It’s so easy to fall into the trap she talks about, where you’re business partners–the business being raising kids. I do think the cyclic nature of NFP gives us the space to pay attention to each other, but it’s not a slam dunk. I recognize the feelings she’s talking about, but it makes me wince to think of running with that sense of blah-ness and looking for excitement elsewhere instead of recognizing it as a wakeup call to focus inward and look for ways to revitalize the marriage–which has to be done periodically, inevitably. I do love her gentle admonishment at the end.

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  3. Maria

    I totally agree, Jami!

    I appreciate the honest look at the problem in this article. Marriages will always be under attack, so couples need to arm themselves with tools to keep from falling out of love, and being proactive now, together, rooted in Christ, is good insurance against “boredom.”

    Yes, we need to pray for marriages!

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